


Searching The Static

by AlexTheAvian



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Hinted Kylux, M/M, Mitaka needs his knight too okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-06-06 19:13:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6766402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexTheAvian/pseuds/AlexTheAvian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cynikk Ren is careful and collected, he is mysterious and silent and keeps his emotions in constant check. To further his training he is stationed aboard the Finalizer, where he can receive guidance from Kylo Ren and supreme leader Snoke. While he is there he meets Lieutenant Mitaka. His emotions start to unravel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Identify

Whipping his body around he prepared to land the final blow to his enemy. Turning his head in a perfect mental harmony, he swung his dual crimson bladed lightsaber with purpose, no emotion showing beneath his mask as he cut them down with effortless grace.    
  
It had been almost twenty years since he had first felt it. The pull to the dark side. He didn't have any idea at the time what it was, but now it was so clear, so familiar, that without it he would feel incomplete.   
  
When he was young, a boy in his neighborhood threw a rock at his head. It stopped, hovered in mid air, then backtracked to the attacker, hitting him square on his temple. Killing him. No remorse was felt. But the past didn't matter, didn't exist anymore, in fact, when Lord Kylo Ren had warned him of General Huxs plans to destroy a system containing his home world he fully endorsed it, even watching as the crimson beam of Starkiller Base obliterated the dull, grey planet.   
  


He turned off his lightsaber, the blades simultaneously disappearing with a hum into the hilt. He boarded a small shuttle to the Finalizer, washed, then replaced his damp robes with identical clean ones, clicking his helmet into place. It was the first thing he had received when he became a Knight of Ren, and it was all he needed to get rid of his previous self, giving up his old name he became the Executioner of The Knights of Ren, second in command to Lord Kylo Ren. Cynikk Ren. Like Kylo Ren he looked up to a Sith lord, Darth Maul, his fighting style, Juyo, form seven, was that of the Sith, and he hoped to achieve the same swift agility with daily training and guidance from supreme leader snoke.  
  
Today would be the first time he would see the supreme leader, a privilege few were allowed. Yet, Cynikk didn't care for appearances. He was there for more important matters. Upon arrival he was unsurprised at how clean and orderly the Finalizer crew was. Kylo Ren and General Hux greeted him at the landing bay with a line of stormtroopers. He shook hands with the General and bowed his head to Kylo - "master" Cyn muttered.   
  
While he and Kylo were eating, they spoke of all that had happened while they had been apart. This was followed by a tour of the vessel, which seemed to drag on. While striding down a dimly lit corridor they both paused. He felt the usual stirring within him, in the force .   
  


"It is time" Kylo announced.   
They diverted their route to lead to the room that housed the hologram of the Supreme Leader. As they approached the door slid open. They made their way Into the room, unperturbed. The hologram was bigger than Cyn had expected, and as he approached both knights found themselves looking up at the supreme leader, whose face was deep in thought. Kylo introduced him.   
  
"As requested I bring you my apprentice, Executioner Cynikk Ren."  
  
"Good, good." Snoke replied in his low raspy voice. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Cynikk, though of course we have known each other for a while now."   
  
Cynikk spoke up. "We have, Supreme Leader"  
  
'You will make a fine addition to the First Order - though you have been taking indirect orders for quite a while. You will work alongside Kylo Ren and occasionally General Hux, taking orders from me and completing missions as I see fit. Understood?"  
  
"Yes Supreme Leader."  
  
"You may leave, Knights of Ren"  
  
Kylo and Cyn Ren bowed their heads in unison, then turned and left, the hologram behind them fading. They walked to the bridge, where they found General Hux giving orders to high ranking officers. He turned to Kylo Ren, they talked amongst them about the situation in hand. Cyn remained silent. He believed in only saying what was needed, nothing more. 

Cyn turned and looked out of the window, stars and planets surrounding them in the void of space. He considered, for a second, how many of these planets are first order occupied. The number must be over one hundred now. He knew that it is in fact one hundred and thirty seven, since the successful raid of Ortelion the week before. He also knew that the rebels had bases on about 55 planets, usually sticking to one per system as a base. Not for much longer though. The interactive holoscreens around him told him that an offensive was due on a rebel base. He just about registers General Hux calling for a lieutenant, and turns to see a young man approaching.    
  
"Lieutenant Mitaka, see to it that a room Is prepared for this Knight of Ren. He is new on board this vessel and is expected to be welcomed well."   
  
The lieutenant replied quietly "yes sir", his voice cracking slightly on the word sir. He rushes off quickly.    
  
Twenty minutes later, after his needed details were transferred to the 'First Order Database' (or FODB), and the General had explained over the intercom tannoy that an assembly of all troops will be held in honor of the new crew member to introduce him, he is led to his quarters. Hux left him at the door, to attend to a crisis revolving around insufficient use of a crossguard lightsaber on navigational consoles. Hux does not tolerate insufficient use of one's abilities on board the finalizer.   
  
Cyn walked into this room, the door sliding shut behind him. Looking ahead into his living quarters he saw bathroom, living and bedroom compartments. He moved into his bedroom. As soon as his feet crossed the doorway, his eyes met another set of eyes. Large, deep brown, anxious. They belonged to none other than the timid sounding lieutenant that the General was talking to earlier. He looked shocked, terrified even. Cyns expression stayed neutral.   
  
"What is your purpose here lieutenant?"   
"Sorry, sir, Ren, eh, " he's shaking now, avoiding eye contact. Not that it is easy to maintain eye contact with a man in a mask.   
  
"Lieutenant, You seem to be shaking."   
  
"Sorry, I'll leave. I was instructed to pack your luggage into your drawers that is all..."   
  
"Thank you lieutenant. It is appreciated."   
  
The anxious lieutenant just nodded, still avoiding eye contact, rushed out of the room.  For the short amount of time that the door is open, he hears Hux's shouts echoing down the corridor, lecturing Lord Kylo Ren.   
  
An emotion washed over Cynikk Ren. He left it alone, pushing it into the background. Emotion was a distraction, a hindrance. He had these emotional barriers for a reason. Reinforcing them, he pushed in the draw that the lieutenant had left open, the memory of those brown, anxious eyes flitted across his vision. No. He clamped down on the memory and buried it.   


* * *

 

Training with Kylo Ren. For most of the crew it was sleeping hours, but Kylo and Cynikk Ren were both awake. Snoke was watching them through the eyes of the force - his presence was rife in the room. The sweep of a lightsaber decapitated a mannequin, the head tumbling to the floor, breaking the tranquil silence. They respectfully bowed to each other while holding the hilts of their now sleeping lightsabers across their chests. They then changed back into their robes and usual masks after a refreshing (yet stale) drink. Cynikk wished to go back to his room to rest.

In his usual calm and collected manner he walked the corridors of the finalizer toward his quarters. He liked the quietness of this time of the cycle. He was not expecting to walk right into a man, who lost his footing, paperwork falling in cascades to his feet. The lieutenant. Cyn put his hand on the lieutenant's shoulder to steady him, and when he was upright again the timid lieutenant flinched and turned his face away.

“Apologies.” said Cyn, “I was not paying attention to where I was walking.”  He used the force to gather up all of the paper, then guided it to the lieutenant’s trembling hands. 

Looking directly at Cynikk Ren he paused for a second. Those deep brown eyes focusing in thought. A flash of realisation crossed his eyes. He made a small whimpering sound.

_ A Knight of Ren helped me… Kylo would… Kylo would… _

He looked down and away from Cyn. Kylo would blame Lieutenant Mitaka. Kylo would use the force to provoke fear in him. Yet Cynikk Ren seemed totally calm… Totally controlled… He closed his eyes. “Thanks” he whispered, rushing off.

  
Cyn watched him go with growing curiosity. Those brown puppy eyes still lingering in his mind. It was happening again. Under his mask he kept his stoic expression. But his brain was whirring. 

 


	2. Memorise

Arriving in his room he removed his mask, taking deep breaths. He assessed his emotional barriers. His core was stable. A relief. But to be even feeling relief so fully meant there was a chink in his armour. His most outer barrier was weakened. He started pacing. Up and down. Up and down. _No. Be calm._ After splashing water on his face, he went to meditate. He sat in the centre of his floor, turning the temperature and the lights down. He closed his eyes, then strengthened by the force reconstructed his barriers. Reinforcing them as much as possible.

 

These barriers were essential. They kept him together, helped his mind stay clear of the human emotions that can destroy a man and bring him down. His only weakness, his Achilles heel. With the slightest crack in these walls he felt overexposed, a little too **_Narqin._ ** He preferred to do this outwardly as well, keeping to himself, only saying what was needed, covering his face and body head to foot, apart from that one area of his chin that his helmet left exposed. Which seemed to showcase his stoic expression. It teased those who searched for emotions in faces, the one part of him exposed, part of his face even! The face of the man they knew to be a calm, yet terrifying mystery. But it showed nothing but a barely moving chin and some tanned skin. How frustrating.

 

Anything that could break these barriers was a threat. This meant that this Lieutenant - whose name he could still not properly recall, was a danger.

 

When he finished meditating he felt stable again. Supreme Leader Snoke would be unhappy with his unfortunate mishap. After all, he was the one who helped him put up these barriers in the first place, saving him from such such things as ‘love’ and ‘fear’ and perhaps even ‘hate’. But today he was busy with Lord Kylo Ren. As second in command that left Cyn to address the Knights of Ren as Kylo would every week cycle. They met in an empty conference room, at a table that could seat ten, but there were only six of them. A hologram of the world below them hovered above the table. They bowed and sat.

 

“Today Lord Kylo Ren is absent due to direct orders from the Supreme Leader.”

 

A good start. But of course, Cyn never said more than what was needed. He listed their names and gave them tasks and the information they would need for them,Just as Lord Ren had instructed. That left him to man the bridge with the General.

 

After dismissing the Knights he walked to the bridge watching those around him working. He found the General giving orders to the navigational team.

 

“General Hux.”

Hux turned to face Cyn, standing to his full height.

“I trust you slept well Ren”

Cyn nodded in reply.

“We are on route to Centara 2, a small mountainous planet which is quite green. It is first order ruled. We will land in three day cycles.”

Cyn nodded again.

“Kylo Ren will land ahead of us...”

 

A console buzzed and the General walked off to bark at its operator. A few main consoles where places around the bridge, manned by the high ranking lieutenants that assisted Hux. One was unattended, Cyn did not yet have a data pad so he logged on to the console to check status reports etc. His usual training was still scheduled. Captain Phasma would be overseeing the stormtroopers, he was to train with them later too, to learn to incorporate them within his fighting. One notification stood out, from the Supreme leader. He was to report to him later. He had no doubt what it was about.

 

He logged off.

 

A few seconds later another person arrived to man the console. Lieutenant Mitaka. Cyn ignored him and walked off. In fact - he ignored him for most of the time he was on the bridge.

 

\------------------------------------

He looked up at the Supreme Leader, ready for what would likely be a lecture on self control.

“Cynikk Ren. Don’t be such a fool as to believe that I would not know. I felt it. Perhaps the other knights felt it. You let your emotion control you.”

Cyn stayed silent, he had nothing of importance to say.

“The emotion that broke you - the weakest of all emotions! How could you let that be!”

His voice echoed and boomed in the silence of the holo-room.

“You are to disconnect yourself from this…. This boy.”

Cyn nodded then spoke “Yes supreme leader.”

“You may leave” The hologram then flickered and faded.

 

The weakest emotion, Cyn thought, which one was that again? It had been too long, he couldn’t match the feeling to its name. He went for food, then trained, on his own.

 

It was the next day when he saw the lieutenant again. When Mitaka saw Cyn walking the corridor, his eyes lit up a little, he hesitated then spoke. “I never got a chance to say thank you the oth-” Cyn did not stop walking, he kept on going. Mitaka felt invisible. Cyn walked right past him, not even turning his head.

 

**_What did I do? I thought he wasn’t like Kylo Ren._ **

 

He did this every time he was around the lieutenant. A request by Mitaka would result in Cyn acting like lieutenant Mitaka did not exist.

“Clearance Ren?” - No reply

“Only two days to go until we arrive…” - No reply

“Why are you ignoring me” - Nothing

 

Hux approached Mitaka, talking to him quietly. Then Cyn saw him heading towards himself, Cyn turned, pretending that he was observing another group of officers.

 

“Cynikk Ren, is there a reason that you are ignoring lieutenant Mitaka? When you boarded this vessel I made it clear that co-operation was vital - if you are unwilling to co-operate I suggest you leave. If you share the same foolishness of your master - join him. But do not jeopardise this situation.”

Cyn stood for a second, looming over the General. “How i act is of no importance to you, General”

 

“Of course it is, I run this ship.”

 

Cyn quickly returned to his room. First he removed his boots, then he removed his robes. Walking to the bathroom he removed his mask and placed it on a sparse shelf. He gazed at his reflection.

 

He untied his hair, letting it fall in tumbles past his shoulder blades, dark like chocolate. His skin was tanned, naturally so, as his family and the locals from his childhood had been. His eyes were the same colour as his hair, yet unmatched, one eye was brighter than the other ever so slightly. But these features didn’t matter, no one ever saw them. He was so hidden.

  


He had scars too. He had a different story for each one. There were many, but the worst one crossed diagonally across his back, ending at the top of his left thigh. He dared not think of its story.

He did not sleep well that night, so uneasy, and thoughts of the lieutenant kept filtering through. He heard him calling his name. “Cyn! Cyn! - “ repeatedly, over and over and - then he was awake.

 

_Cyn!_

 

The voice was not the lieutenants, it was too deep, and the accent was different. It was also through the force. They were finally in orbit above the planet Centara 2. The knights were required to gather on the surface, as soon as possible. It seemed urgent.

 

_Lieutenant_

 

Mitaka woke with a start. In his own dream he had heard Cyn calling his own name, however in a much less appropriate way. He knew he should not be thinking about the knight, but his dreams where uncontrollable. From that day on the bridge, the first time he had met him, when asked to prepare his room by Hux he had been perplexed at how unlike Kylo Ren Cynikk was. He was more considerate and respectful in his ways. It was the time he spilled paperwork walking into Cyn, when Cyn took the blame and helped him up that he had first noticed the feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had not stopped thinking of him since.

 

Something had changed though, Mitaka had noticed of course, why would Cyn ignore him for no reason at all? This did not push his attention away from the Executioner of the Knights of Ren. In fact, it made him even more curious to see who this man was.

 

This day would differ from the rest, Mitaka would join the others with Hux, down to Centara 2. In the departure area many people awaited shuttles to the land below. He was allocated one and boarded, he was sat beside the General, he looked at the ground and shifted to get comfortable, and he saw out of the corner of his eyes, the bottom of Cyns dark robes. Their legs brushed together as he sat beside Mitaka. Cyn was facing the opposite direction avoiding the Lieutenant as usual. He heard a whisper, faint but audible, just. **_I apologise for my recent behavior._ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the time passing between the last chapter, exams have me like uhhhhh DX


	3. Track

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a bit of fluff in too, and there's plenty more to come ;-)

The journey dragged, and Cyn grew more and more uncomfortable as it went on. He kept glancing out of the corner of his eyes towards the lieutenant. The lieutenant looked nervous, as usual, through those deep brown puppy eyes just as he remembered them. He clutched his hat tight in his hands, so his perfectly styled hair was visible. Cyn found himself wanting to reach over and touch it, make it unkempt. It looked… soft somehow. He stopped himself there. No. Apologising to him was bad enough. He needed to co-operate. That was all. There was no talk during the journey. The silence was not awkward but rather controlled because of the presence of General Hux. When they landed, they all stood up to file out in an orderly fashion.

 

_!! _

 

Kylo called out to him. 

 

The knights where needed. When the doors opened, the first thing Cyn heard was blaster fire. As he left the shuttle he unhooked his lighsaber from his belt, holding it firmly in his right hand. He knew the reason they were all there, to restore order, and in turn to celebrate a day dedicated to the power of the old empire, which the First Order strove to be like, learning from the empires mistakes. There was more though. He could feel it. Hauntingly familiar. He took up the back of the group when he left the craft, almost escorting the others through what now seemed to be a small battlefield.

His training would now come into play. Using new techniques he had learned, he blocked blaster fire with his saber,deflecting it back towards the enemy, defending the team. He let the force guide him. The team was now nearing the building, where they would be safe. As they started entering the building, Cyn saw the knights out of the corner of his eyes. He broke off from the group and joined the other knights - who now had the rebels cornered. 

 

A whisper in his consciousness alerted yet reassured him.

 

_ Brother   -  _ It said 

 

The familiar mutter made him turn his head slightly, seeking the source of the whisper he had heard within his mind. And sure enough Anic Ren was facing him. Cyn was sure that under the other knights mask, a smirk would be present.

 

Their moment of being reunited ended when Kylo Ren spoke. 

“You know what to do Cynikk” 

The knights all left. Anic hesitated a little at first, then rushed to join the others. Cyn remained, and he could soon feel knights and officers watching him from indoors, their eyes fixed on the scene. 

 

He took his time,he even quickly searched the minds of the captives. No useful information. He knew they were terrified. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then, using the force, he froze the captives in place. He raised his lightsaber above his head, it's red hue reflected in his helmet, and in threes of those on the ground before him. The male directly in front of him had bright, emerald green eyes and shaggy black hair. His skin was a pale white, almost like ice, so that his naturally occurring facial markings were easy to see, a pale blue. 

 

Cyn struck. There was no blood. Just deathly silence. The man before him hit he floor. There was a strong breeze, Cyns robes flowed and fluttered at his feet. 

 

A young boy cried out. 

 

Cyn looked down to see him stand, emerald eyes watering, tears pouring down his cheeks, over his familiar looking blue facial markings. The boy screamed. Cyn felt something hit him, in the chest, but surprisingly felt no pain. The young boys arms where outstretched, and his hair was floating around his head, although there was barely any breeze anymore. 

 

The force. 

 

The child was force sensitive, and had cloaked his abilities extremely well. Too well. Hadn't Cyn checked before anyway? If he hadn't been wearing a mask, a look of disbelief might have been seen on the knights face. Cyn looked down, to see the hilt of a knife sticking out of his chest, the blood dampening his robes. His knees gave way. And as he fell he saw five Stormtroopers appear and open fire on the captives, killing them one by one, then leaving. Then Cyn fell onto his front, and everything went dark. 

 

…

 

_ Lieutenant _

 

Fear pulsated through Lieutenant Mitaka’s body. He could not believe what he was seeing. He had watched Cyn practice once before, and had read his files. He was a flawless fighter the majority of the time. This didn't make sense. That was until he heard Kylo Ren whisper “Cloaking…”. Then it became obvious that the boy had been force sensitive.

 

Everyone had frozen. The room was silent as medics shuffled around awkwardly, then left to go out to the courtyard where everything had taken place. Suddenly, unexpectedly, one of the other Knights of Ren bolted, running and stumbling. Mitaka watched as he left the compound and pushed past the medics, knocking one of them over. When he reached Cyn he fell to his knees at his side. It looked like he was… crying? It was hard to tell when he was masked. When he finally reached Cyn they had to coax the other knight aside to pull the injured one onto a stretcher. The Lieutenant gazed at the scene in front of him with a sad expression on his face until everyone disappeared. All that remained in the room was Mitaka. And in the courtyard Anic Ren sat on  the dusty ground, hugging his knees. Eventually even he ran off. 

 

…

 

The machines around Cyn beeped steadily, calmly, after the previous hours of chaos. He was finally stable. Unconscious, yes - but still stable. Throughout the ordeal Anic Ren had refused to leave Cyn’s side. He had been so scared. Now he sat on a plastic chair at the bedside, totally silent and unmoving. No one seemed to care. The other patients in the Med bay had visitors, close friends and comrades wishing them luck - and they would receive ‘get well soon’ messages sent from relatives on far away planets. But not Cyn. At times it seemed that Cyn and Anic where all each other had. So they stuck together when they could, as brothers, regardless of origin and blood. 

 

The door slid open unexpectedly, and Anic moves quick to cover Cyn’s unmasked face. Lieutenant Mitaka stood in the doorway for a few seconds, noticing the other knight in the room, then slowly walked to Cyn bedside, placing an envelope on the nearby cabinet, which was empty apart from Cyns medical notes. Anic didn't speak, or even turn his head, but was surprised at the situation. Cyn never connected with people, yet the face of this officer showed pity and concern, and kindness. 

 

“I-is he going to be okay?” Mitaka said, quietly. Anic nodded then tilted his head when a beep sounded in the room. Anic took out a data pad- the source of the sound. He gazed at Cyn for a while, stood, nodded at Mitaka and hesitantly left the room with his head down. He was needed as a knight. Luckily, Cyn was past the worst, he knew that. 

 

Lieutenant Mitaka sat down on the empty chair. He knew he shouldn't but… he gently pulled back the sheets from Cyns face. He froze, the sheet still in his hand, as a blush spread across his face, and to the tips of his ears. Mitaka had not known what to expect. He had expected, something? But this was much more than he had anticipated. Cyns hair was long and unkempt, dark and soft. Mitaka reached out and touched it, blushing more and more. Cyns eyes were closed, but his eyelashes were long and almost feminine. His skin was smooth and the colour of coffee,  the Lieutenant’s hand moved to Cyns face. His lips were parted slightly as he breathed steadily. His lips would probably be just as smooth and soft as his hair and skin - Mitaka thought. This whole experience seemed surreal, the man behind the mask was not just good looking, or nice, he seemed perfect. Mitaka slowly leaned down, blushing, shaking a little, ready to run in embarrassment, but for some reason, he wasn't that scared, despite knowing what Cyn was capable of, despite knowing that he would likely react in a negative manner if he awoke. 

He kissed the injured knights forehead softly, sweetly, for a brief second. Cyn didn't move, quiet and serene. Mitaka couldn't help but smile. Subconsciously he thought to himself  _ what the hell am I doing.  _ Then he cautiously and slowly planted his lips on the knights own, which were slightly parted. They were as soft as he had expected, and warm. He felt so happy, a glow radiated within him, he wanted to do this while Cyn was awake. He lingered another second then pulled away. He looked around the room to make sure no one was there then he glanced at Cyns face once again. Then Cyn’s face twitched. And his eyes opened. Mitaka jumped back startled, afraid.  _ Oh no.  _ He stood and stared moving backwards. In that second he noticed that Cyn’s eyes where actually slightly different hues of brown, and where mysterious and beautiful. Those eyes darted back and forth looking around the room, then landed on Mitaka. Cyn frowned then - and the lieutenant fleed the room. 

 

Cyn raised his hand to touch his own face, he was unmasked. The lieutenant had seen his face. He felt exposed, no one usually saw his face, ever, he preferred to identify with his mask. He tried to sit up, and failed, wincing in pain and falling back onto the pillow. Then a medical droid came I to the room to assess him now that he was conscious. But he didn't take notice. He had been half conscious for about 15 without being able to move. 

 

He had felt everything.

 

Remembering what had happened in the last few moments was difficult, fuzzy, but he remembered enough. The thought of the lieutenant buzzed through his mind. He tried to stop it but he supposed he was too weak. He felt heat spreading across his face. The droid told him to calm down, as his heartbeat rate was rising. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm really bad at updating. But in this chapter, things will begin to unravel.

Cyn stayed in the medical bay for just less than a week. He was constantly checked by droids and even more often visited by his brother, it seemed. Which Cyn had no problem with. What he did have a problem with was pushing away thoughts of the lieutenant. He savoured any distraction, and when there was no distraction he tried to meditate and focus his mind on healing his wound further instead. 

 

But now he was in his own quarters. Pacing the living area. Why? He had nothing to wait for. He was trying to distract himself. His mind was muddled. In truth, he didn't really know what to do. He didn't know how he felt. The confusion was bothering him. He felt exposed, and needed to clear this whole ordeal up, but was almost afraid to do so. Fear was not something he was used to feeling, but he was pretty sure he was feeling it right now. He had realised very quickly that the emotional barriers he had in place where failing. He paced the room a few more times, speed increasing, agitation building. 

 

He lashed out. 

 

The table flipped. The chairs screeched backwards.loose items hit the wall with a clatter or smash. 

 

Cyn looked down, away from the mess, hands balled into fists. Breathing heavily. He hoped no one walked in right now. He needed to stop - to calm down. Supreme Leader Snoke would be unimpressed. 

 

His mind unexpectedly jumped back to Lieutenant Mitaka. He remembered warmth. Fuzzy softness. Lips against his own… no...?

 

Through all of the confusion, he all of a sudden felt more relaxed. His fingers unclenched and his breathing became lighter. He could re-think. 

 

He had a few options. 

 

He could try and rebuild his emotional barriers. It would take him a long time to get them back to the strength they had been , but at least he could feel secure in himself with the absence of emotion. 

 

A new method of self control could be formulated, which would hopefully be more resilient and effective.

 

There was always the option of ignoring everything, getting used to the presence of emotion, but ignoring it, going on with his life, acting like nothing had happened.  _ That didn't seem logical.  _

 

Another option was talking with his brother. Even if they weren't connected by blood, they still shared a close bond, and had complete faith in one another. He knew he could trust Anic with what had happened, but he didn't know if his brother could help nor did he want to give him more to worry about. Cyn could see how stressed he was from what had happened. 

 

He could also give into his emotions - act on them- whatever they may be. ‘The weakest of all emotions’ snoke had said. It had been a long time since he allowed his emotions to guide him. It didn't seem wise to let them guide him now. Though he wanted to know what ‘the weakest of all emotions’ was. 

 

_ Mitaka _

 

The past week had been exhausting. Preparations for the Day of the Empire (celebrated every so often to remind cultures and societies of the importance of the old Empire) had led to lieutenant Mitaka working more hours than usual. He and many other officers were under a lot of pressure to make the day run smoothly. 

 

In addition to all of this, the First Order had been beating down a mysterious rebellion on the planet. It was mostly under control now, but the aftermath still needed ‘cleaning up’. Such as Cyn. 

 

Mitaka had not seen Cyn since, well, the kiss. Looking back, he felt like an idiot. A mistake had been made. He had heard from General Hux (who was spending more and more time with Kylo recently) that Cyn was up and walking now. That filled him with relief. He had been worried about the knight. Unlike the other knights,  however, he would now be unable to showcase his ability and agility for the First Order on Day of the Empire. However, surviving the attack, which he had, was strong within itself. Perhaps it would show the galaxy that the First Order would not be taken down easily. In other words, his appearance would still make a statement.

 

Despite it all, he wanted to see Cyn again. Masked or not. He knew what would happen to him. His stomach would flip, like when a spacecraft suddenly dived, and he was in the front seat. His chest would feel slightly achey. He would find himself unable to speak,mouth half open, or stumbling over his sentences. Blushing. Cyn Ren would just look at him, stoic faced. Mitaka wondered if he even knew how he felt about the knight. 

 

The lieutenant realised his face was warm, and that he was red faced. He imagined for a second how it would feel to be held, in his arms, or to hold his hands. But that wasn't possible. He knew he had no chance anymore, if he ever did to start with.

 

The alarm startled him. Checking the console he saw that there had been a breach nearby. He looked up to gain Hux’s attention. They met eyes- “Sir! Th-” 

He was interrupted by one of the doors to the room caving in from a force on the other side. A being shrouded in gray walked in. Leader if the rebels.

 

***

 

The knights had felt the presence instantly. It was easily recognisable. They sprinted down the corridor, robes flying behind them in a cape like fashion. Kylo led them, and Anic brought up the back. It was weird to be without Cyn, who would usually be right beside him. He was glad of it, this was a fight they all were unsure if, so it was for the best that he was not present.

 

Then he felt someone appear behind him.  _ Cyn.  _ Anic was worried now. Cyn still wasn't fully recovered, and was in no mental state to fight either. He could tell that much from his  _ aura. _

 

Then they were there. When they saw the being, they all paused. This was the individual who had killed Intellar Ren. She was a Knight of Ren, when Cyn was a very young knight. While he was still learning, she was older and wiser, so she taught him what she could. He was almost her pupil apprentice, in a way. He had tried to protect her one day, when she was injured and threatened. But he had failed. Now she was dead. The scar running down Cyn’s back burned with the memory.

 

His unstable emotions started to bubble to the surface. He watched the grey clothed being approach Lieutenant Mitaka- who was frozen at his station.

 

_ No. Please. Not again. _

 

He decided to act first and ask questions later. Pushing past the other knights he took his lightsaber in both hands, and stood between Mitaka and the rebel. Everyone stood and stared. Cyn, though, was preoccupied, the voice of the being filling his head, trying to push him to the edge. 

 

“Ah,  **Teyler…** ” 

Then the being started to speak in his first language, words he had heard many times, but still hadn't heard in many years.

 

“Narqin ete, narqin tu kete”

**“With me be, or with me suffer.”**

 

_ Making those who don't ‘join’ them suffer? _

Cyn thought.

_ Well you made me suffer. Now. Narqin to kete.  _

 

Rage

 

That's what he was feeling at the moment. It had taken Cyn a few moments to identify the almost unbearably strong emotion. He found himself unable to control it.

 

Why? He hadn't had this problem in the past. Perhaps it was because he was so unfamiliar with it.

 

But it seemed to make his senses sharper. He knew it wouldn't take too much to destroy this enemy. 

 

He opened his arms wide and felt the full force of his power rush outwards. They cried out in pain as Cyn mentally and physically tortured them. Payback? Revenge? Whatever. Anic rushed beside him and added to the power. Then came the other knights. The power of all seven of them combined was enough to kill the being. Eventually, all that was left was a pile of grey rags.

 

The knights broke off, most of them breathless and tired. Cyn let go of the power last, almost falling to the floor, a hand over his healing wound. Anic ran over to support his shoulder.

 

_ Brother. Are you okay? _

 

Cyn was about to answer, when he heard Mitaka whisper “you….saved me..?” 

“of course.” he softly replied, then pushed Anic away and yet again stumbled back to his own.

  
  
  



End file.
